Oakwood as usual
|
|
Oakwood as usual |
We're very late this year with this but your scribe has just realised that he is late every year, therefore he is not late. If you are still following this, pray continue, otherwise, there must be something on telly which does not involve a celebrity doing something inane in a desperate bid for publicity. Actually, a glance through the TV programs, reveals that your scribe is wrong.
We normally do this in order of persona but after years of grinding out the same stuff, we decided to let it all hang out in chronological order.
Not sure what happened to January 2007. There was a Burns night with our good friends and then everything went blank. All of a sudden it was February. This unique approach, first originating in Scotland with the annual self-induced coma called Hogmanay followed by a Burns night effectively removes one of the most dismal months of the year from the calendar, and jolly good riddance.
Not to put too fine a point on it, we Ulm'ed. Ulm is the birthplace of Albert Einstein. This is revealed by an incomprehensible statue with no label which is an artist's impression of space-time which appears to have been helped by substances not normally available through the German health service. There's also a coffee bar called “Ein Stein von Albert”. That was it - a summation of the impact of the greatest physicist the world has ever seen on his birthplace. Still in an age when most people think a physicist sells soft drinks, perhaps we should count our blessings.
Through his dealings with the tertiary education system in 2007, your scribe has had many reasons to bemoan the appalling innumeracy and illiteracy now rife. This reached a zenith in December when the family all trooped off to see "St. Trinians". Without putting too fine a point on it, don't emulate us. Near the end of this mediocrity-fest, Stephen Fry, the shining light of TV intellectualism, corrected one of the er, St. Trinian's girls and assured her that the volume of a sphere was pi x r-cubed. No doubt he didn't want to damage anybody's developing young mind by troubling them with the (4/3) bit, but hey, what's 33% between friends (other than a Barclay's loan interest rate).
Coming only a week after the eternally razor-sharp Noel Edmonds "corrected" one of his "Brainy family of great britain" contestants whilst simultaneously ridiculing her that 3+5x0 was in fact 0 rather than the 15 she had guessed :-(, it was all a little too much for your scribe, so he had to have a lie down.
However, Ulm is lovely and well worth a visit.
|
|
You can go round and round Ulm in a boat but it was freezing so we didn't. |
|
This picture was spoilt by Superman flying by at low altitude. |
|
Our Ulm trip was your scribe's first visit of the year to the dirtiest, smelliest and most disorganised airport in the world – yes, its everybody's favourite, Heathrow. For years it has been held together by duct tape and chewing gum which along with the general grime is bad enough but the toilets are comparable with football grounds on a bad drain day. They used to have these cute little clocks to give you a count-down to show you that they are cleaned every hour. Note the time ... Yes that is a minus sign. Fortunately in modern Britain, very few people understand what this cute little dash is for, as witnessed by the number of complaints to the National Lottery after one competition during the summer by customers asserting that -8 was bigger than -6.
|
|
The smallest number seen during the year was -436 in May, a mere 7 hours overdue, and then they decided to take the clocks down as they were obviously too incriminating. Either that or they needed recalibrating in years. |
|
The signs are jolly useful though ... The toilets are so vile that the desperate user is not inclined to hover for long so there is some danger of concussion from the hand-drier in the urgency to get out before something bites. BAA could make things so much better by taking them out as they rarely work anyway. |
|
Bit of a quiet month but without any artificial avoidance aids such as Burns nights. Perhaps our northernmost neighbours of what used to be known as the United Kingdom can dream of some kind of festival to take care of this month too.
Much better – we went skiing and mountain walking with friends.
|
Happy holidaymakers, yomping over the mountains just in time to miss everybody in the bar in the next valley. Oh how we yodelled. |
|
|
|
Gillian's new knees are still painful so she restricted her activities to walking this time and did wonderfully well. Here she is about to demonstrate the two legged vertical take off jump with sticks. |
|
Not much you can say about this really. No matter how cynical your scribe gets as he ages and he has had plenty of opportunity this year as various Government offices have lost data faster than they can acquire it, views like this can still move you to simple awe. Not a civil servant or itinerant DVD in sight. |
|
|
|
And back to Sweden for your scribe later in the month.
No, you're quite wrong, this is a car park. |
|
Your scribe had to go to Florida for a conference, academia can be so demanding. This is Cocao beach. The sign says that alcoholic containers of more than one gallon are not allowed. So much for the cocao. |
|
|
|
Family piccie taken by Gillian on Nannie's birthday. We took her to Cambridge and then on to Bedford for one of Felix' many athletics competitions of the year. Leo is in Singapore so sadly could not be with us. |
|
And back to Sweden. Your scribe believes that this is a before .. after comparison. It may however be that Sweden is the first country in the world to explore the marketing possibilities of a before .. before comparison. Even your scribe has better dress sense than this although he is in the minority on this point. |
|
|
|
Your scribe is not entirely clear which end this goes in. Perhaps it doesn't matter. |
Recovering from Sweden, a jolly nice trip was had by all on the Isle of Wight. In fact two jolly nice trips.
|
I tort I taw a puddy tat a cweeping up on me. |
|
|
|
This was a nice view. Shortly after, your scribe, accompanied by two dedicated drinking chums, (yes you know who you are), set off valiantly through endless rows of steaming cow-pats to locate the public house just over the trees. Much later, they returned rather more erratically, full of beer and covered in the aforesaid cow-pats. Only the male of the species can aspire to such romantic heights. |
Then we thought we would have a bit of culture. Fortunately, we came to our senses just in time and went to ...
|
|
|
Your scribe's knickers are the third from the right.
This was a busy month. The BBC has been desperate for evidence that the earth is going to rise in temperature by at least 100C due to the volumes of hot air that it produces, accompanied by vast tidal waves enveloping everybody except A-list celebrities, 5-star luvvies, and possibly some B-list upstarts still striving for their first Hello magazine outing. To play our part in distorting the evidence, New Malden had a bit of downpour which flooded our street, necessitating rescuing the tortoise as she floated gaily by. This also happened in the 60s with a tidal wave going down Hampstead High street. Goodness that's twice now in 50 years. Things are getting really bad. Must be time for another shock documentary like the rubbish they put out earlier in the year on how Wireless Internet is scientifically proven to eat your babies.
Its nice to see that the powers that be have the measure of this though. When your scribe consulted the flood plans produced by the Local authority (no need to involve any scientists in this, whatever they are), the only bit that was supposed to flood was the only bit that didn't flood. They probably got confused by one of those cute little dashes you get in front of numbers sometimes.
It was also Izzy's birthday which as far as we know has nothing to do with our carbon footprint and the annual charity gig of the Juniper Hill Blues Band, this time featuring the Malden Horns with George, (Jerry's son) on trombone, Issy's boyfriend Jake on trumpet and Izzy on tenor supplementing our renowned one-man wind section Don.
|
Izzy's birthday. She has had a busy year with her music and is working hard in her second year at Birmingham. In spite of this, she can still speak some English and her trips home are very welcome. |
|
|
|
Gillian and Izzy in a celebratory mood, Gillian celebrating her official birthday and Izzy her actual birthday. |
|
The Juniper Hill Blues Band ably supported by the Malden Horns, let rip. |
|
|
|
Quick call the BBC before it goes down. This clearly needs a distorting headline or two. |
|
|
Nannie-chuck came down for Gillian's birthday. She had a fall late in the year but has shrugged off the effects and carries on regardless. Here she is showing the photographs she promised not to show for the 83rd time, this time to Isabelle, who has conveniently slipped into a coma. |
Another busy month. The BBC have taken to leaving the central heating on at Television House through the summer in order to get the temperature up enough for another global warming newsflash. Leo returned from Singapore for a short stay and Felix performed in the Norwich Union World Trials in Manchester where he came a creditable 6th out of 12.
|
The prodigal Leo returneth thporting an untheathonable thun tan again. And verily, it maketh uth green with envy. |
|
|
|
Too cool doods. |
|
Felix at the Norwich Union world trials in Manchester. He did very well and just fouled a 70m throw on his last effort finishing with 67.58m and a 6th place. |
|
|
|
Selecting a suitable pointed stick. |
Again a busy month. We managed to squeeze in a holiday before your scribe's travelling started again in earnest. This turned out to be a truly English sort of holiday. Gillian had thoughts of Mediterranean climes but Les had never seen Hadrian's wall, so rough tough and hearty won out and we set off north.
|
Taken from the driver's cab on the back end of the Carlisle-Settle train over Ribblehead viaduct. |
|
|
|
Hadrian's wall near Housestead's fort. Truly spectacular although just a tad cooler than the Mediterranean. Sorry Gillian. :-) |
|
An impromptu stop travelling back through Lincolnshire at the Battle of Britain memorial flight was lucky enough to catch them taking out the Lancaster, Spitfire and Hurricane and flying them off. The crews chatted with us (they work on them at weekends in their own time) and then set off. This was taken just as a driver pulled up and asked what were we all looking at. As the Lanc roared over-head, all he could manage was "What the **** is that ?". |
|
|
|
Late September, back travelling for your scribe, this time to San Antonio, Texas where this picture was taken in the Alamo. It is now a registered heritage site and your scribe was very pleased to note that they have taken down the picture of John Wayne which used to adorn the visitor's centre. It is now a haven of tranquillity in a busy city as it should be. |
More travelling for your scribe and the lad's birthdays although we were unable to have any get-togethers as they are both away.
|
In a desperate attempt to improve customer relations, BAA now have a new high-speed service into London. |
|
Yet more travelling for your scribe, this time back to Sweden for the 10th time this year.
|
|
Stockholm has a number of "Belgo bars", which specialise in Belgian beer and other anaesthetic substances. Here, your scribe and some friends try out their potency. Bink is the sound your head makes as it clips the table on its way to a peaceful repose on the floor. |
Gillian's birthday. We booked a trip on the eye which we have never done before. The eye is run by British Airways and this is the only flight they managed to run on time this year.
|
Even your cynical old scribe was taken by this experience. The view after dark is absolutely spectacular. |
|
In September, we were kindly given a tortoise as a welcome partner for Trampolina, our gentle lady tortoise. His name is Totto. He is every bit as randy as the late lamented Kirby but rather smaller so he has to try harder. He hadn't, er, well, had his end away for some time before being introduced to Trampolina, and came out of his hut like a jet-propelled Cornish pasty, bouncing off her shell and ricocheting into the flower bed. He has calmed down a little since and is currently kipping the winter away as your scribe would like to do.
Our dopey cat Dotty is occasionally conscious although then only for short periods. She staggers from lap to lap interspersed with kips on the carpet and anywhere else that takes her fancy.
Fang our giant spider is in Hollywood making a disaster movie.
We hope you and your families are well. We wish you a very merry Christmas and health and happiness in 2008.
